100 Things I Hate About You
by mariaclair
Summary: James Potter was cocky and confident, an egocentric of the highest levels. Everyone loves him - don't they? She doesn't. Darcy May is determined to show James Potter once and for all all the things she hates about him - all one hundred of them.
1. Introduction

**Introduction: 100 Things I Hate About You**

"You're a dick, Potter!" yelled a sixth year Hufflepuff as she wrapped her arms around the shoulders of her first year brother. "You've got to be seriously sick to make fun of someone for their house when they're eleven!"

"Everyone knows Slytherins are evil." smirked James Potter, an amused smirk on his face.

James Potter was one of the most popular guys in the school - he was a fifth year Gryffindor who'd become infamous through his group of misfits: The Marauders. There wasn't one person in the school who didn't know his name, and very few who didn't admire him in at least one way, even if it was through envy. It could have been for his popularity, the amount of girls who were attracted to him, his smarts, his Quidditch abilities - many of his qualities were enviable. He did, however, intimidate many. He was a bully and a joker and few people ever dared to question him. However, one of the few people who would was approaching him then, her eyes narrowed in anger.

"Put a sock in it, Potter." scowled Darcy May, a fellow fifth year Gryffindor who was well known for her sarcasm as the Quidditch Commentator. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind, something many people were jealous and afraid of.

"Oh come on, May, you know you love it." winked James, running his hand through his hair as Darcy managed to push through the circle of people watching James' antics on the last day of term.

"Love what? The fact that you're a self-loving, bullying prat who needs to put down other people just to feel better about yourself?" replied Darcy, her voice cold and her words sharp. "Yeah, whatever. Stop being a prat to first years who are worth twelve of you."

"He deserves it. He's a Slytherin." replied James, shrugging his shoulders. "We all know Slytherins are evil."

"If that's true, maybe you should have been a Slytherin - it takes a truly evil person to reduce a first year to tears." replied Darcy, her eyes narrowing at him before she looked down at the first year Slytherin boy, who was shaking in the slightest and had tears swimming in his dark eyes. "What did he say to you?" she asked lightly.

"He- he told me that I'd never amount to anything. That I was worth nothing and that I should just quit school now to go and join V-Voldemort instead of wasting everyone's time pretending that I'm not the snake I really am." replied the first year, and he gave a great sob as he finished.

His sister wrapped her arms around his shoulders, tears falling down her own cheeks as she tried to soothe her brother. Darcy, who knew what it was like to try and comfort a younger sibling who'd been bullied as the middle sibling with a Ravenclaw third year brother (her other brother being a sixth year Hufflepuff), felt her heart break and anger bubble inside of her at the sight.

"Potter!" she screeched, turning back to James with anger flaring in her eyes. "You utter tosser! How dare you say that to someone just because you're prejudiced against the house they're in?! He is a Slytherin because he's cunning and resourceful and stands for all the good qualities of a Slytherin - not because he wants to go and serve some Dark Lord!"

"All Slytherins want to serve Voldemort." stated James, running his hand through his ever messy hair. "They're all slimy gits!"

"My father was a Slytherin and you and I both know the amount of good he's doing to fight against Voldemot!" replied Darcy, her eyes narrowed. "For the love of Merlin, Potter, you really do need to mature over the summer! I bloody hope we don't get back to school and you're as foul as you are now!"

"Lovely to see you too, May!" James called after Darcy, a smirk playing on his face as she walked away.

No, changing who he was would not be something he'd be doing anytime soon.

"May!" called James at King's Cross Station on September first that year, a wide grin on his face as he approached Darcy.

"Back off, Potter." hummed Darcy's seventh year brother, his hand placed on Darcy's shoulder.

"No, it's fine, Jack." waved off Darcy, her eyes narrowing very slightly at James as he approached. She folded her arms over her chest. "Come to tell me that you're not going to be a prat this year?"

"Ah, I never have been a prat, May." smirked James, running his hand through his hair. "I just thought you'd like to see me first this year because you so clearly love me."

"More like I hate you." scoffed Darcy, and her brothers both smirked at that comment.

"You don't hate me, May, you love me." said James confidently.

"That's news to me, Potter." said Darcy, shaking her head.

"What's there to hate about me?" James asked confidently, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I would tell you everything there is to hate about you, but we'd be stood here all day. Maybe I should list them for you. Yeah, I could list a hundred reasons why I hate you." nodded Darcy, her eyes twinkling.

"I'd love to see you try." said James, rolling his eyes. "Have fun trying to create a list of everything you hate about me."

"Oh, I will." said Darcy, a smirk growing on her face as she watched James strut away. "I most definitely bloody will."

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter


	2. Things 1, 2 & 3

**Thing One; Your Ego  
Thing Two; Your Judgmental Ways**

**&amp; Thing Three; The Fact That You're Always Around**

"He's such a- such a-!" Darcy screeched in frustration, her eyes flashing with annoyance as she walked into a compartment on the train with Marlene McKinnon following after her.  
"Dickhead?" offered Marlene.  
"A toerag?" offered Lily Evans, her green eyes shining with a knowing look as Darcy ran her hands through her blonde hair.  
"Oh, I've got one: an idiot." suggested Dorcas Meadowes, shrugging apologetically as Lily raised her eyebrows at her.  
"An arrogant toss-pot who deserves to be thrown into the deepest pits of hell!" announced Marlene, a grin on her face.  
"Marlene." scolded Lily lightly, shaking her head in disappointment.  
"She's about to say something worse." said Marlene, her eyes focused on Darcy, who was still standing up, her face red in anger.  
"Is she going to say it?" asked Lily.  
"You mean _it_ it?" questioned Dorcas, her eyes widening in horror. "The c-word it?"  
"She's never used that before." said Marlene, shaking her head lightly. "She hates that word. She'd have to really hate Potter to use it."  
"She does really hate Potter." pointed out Lily.  
"Oh shit." swore Marlene, her eyes widening. "Darce, stay calm-"  
"He's such an arrogant wanker who needs to stay the bloody hell away from everyone younger than him just because he thinks that he can bully them and look cool when really he's nothing but a pathetic bully who needs to sort his life out!" exploded Darcy, her face the same shade as a tomato by the time she'd finished shouting. The moment the words had finished tumbling from her mouth, a somewhat resoundingly relieved sigh escaped her lips and she flopped down into a spare seat, closing her eyes as she breathed heavily.  
"Well that was disappointing." said Marlene, shaking her head as she focused on Darcy's calming form.  
"You only think that it's disappointing because she didn't swear excessively." said Lily, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear.  
"She needs to up her swearing game." said Marlene.  
"Not all of us swear so much that we announce the c-word to the entire school at a Quidditch Match." stated Dorcas, shaking her head lightly.  
"I'm still offended that they gave my job to Darce." sighed Marlene. "I thought I was a good announcer."  
"If your job had been to announce every swear word in the British language then yeah, sure." agreed Lily. "Otherwise, you were dreadful at it."  
"Who was dreadful at what?" mused Remus Lupin from the doorway of the compartment, a light smile on his face.  
"Get rid of them." muttered Darcy, her eyes still closed as she recognised Remus' voice.  
"What's wrong with her?" asked James, a smirk playing on his face.  
"I'd say that it's your presence." replied Dorcas bluntly, shrugging her shoulders in a way which clearly said that she wasn't sorry for her words.  
All four of The Marauders were standing at the door; James Potter, wearing a smirk as ever; Sirius Black, James' right-hand man who was well known for being a huge troublemaker and a lady's man wore an amused grin on his attractive face; Remus Lupin, the somewhat tamed Marauder who was known for being intelligent and one of the Gryffindor Prefects but had no problems getting involved with pranks; Peter Pettigrew, who was more of a follower than anything, but was still known to get involved with pranks and he was respected in the castle as a Marauder. They were all particularly awful when they were all together - and when they were all together, that was when Darcy hated them the most.  
"Our presence?" repeated Sirius, cocking an eyebrow. "Why ever would that be?"  
"Everyone knows that May loves us." stated James confidently, running his fingers through his messy hair. "Isn't that right, May?"  
"No." replied Darcy simply, opening her eyes - only to narrow them again when they landed on The Marauders.  
"What's there not to love about me? If you're really as confident as you think you are in having a hundred reasons why you don't like me, tell me one now." challenged James, smirking at Darcy.  
Darcy stood up, her feet bare as she'd kicked off her ankle booties, and walked to the door of the compartment to stand in front of James. The top of her head may have only reached her chin, but that didn't mean that she wasn't sending him the most intimidating look she could muster, and even he as a six foot two Quidditch Player recoiled slightly at the burning hatred in her eyes.  
"The first thing I hate about you, James Potter, is your ego. It's bloody huge and you need to realise that there's no reason for it to be. I do not love you and I never will. Now leave." she said, and she slammed the compartment door in James' face. One reason down; ninety nine to go.

"So, this list she has to do then, do you reckon she'll complete it?" asked Remus, sitting down opposite James at the Gryffindor Table as they entered the Great Hall that evening.  
"Nah." said James, shaking his head casually.  
"Why not?" asked Peter. "She does seem to hate you quite a lot, you know."  
"She's just using that to cover up the fact that she doesn't hate me at all." shrugged James. "And even if she does hate me as much as she claims to, there aren't even ten things to hate about me; no way in hell is she going to list a hundred."  
"Well said, Prongs." agreed Sirius, clapping James on the back.  
"I know." grinned James confidently.  
"She was right about you having a big ego, though." remarked Remus.  
"That's just one of the many things you love about me, Moony." grinned James.  
"Slightly camp." commented Peter.  
"You're just jealous because I'm not saying it to you, Wormy." replied James, a smirk playing on his lips.  
"Of course." drawled Peter sarcastically, rolling his eyes.  
"I'm just offended that I've been left out this long." said Sirius, placing his hand over his chest. "I'm going to have to go and snog someone to get over the pain."  
"Snog my ass." commented James, rolling his eyes.  
"Woah!" exclaimed Sirius, raising his hands beside his head. "That was a bit far!"  
"That was a bit more than slightly camp." agreed Remus.  
James rolled his eyes at his friends, a smirk playing on his lips as he noticed a certain blonde walk past. He called, "Oi, May, don't you want to sit with us?"  
"I don't need anymore reasons to hate you, Potter; I'm struggling to whittle it down to a hundred as it is." remarked Darcy, walking past without so much as glancing back at The Marauders.  
"You've got to hand it to her, Prongs, she is quick." commented Remus fairly.  
"Don't tell me you like her." groaned James, shaking his head. "I thought you were on my side."  
"I am." stated Remus. "That doesn't take away from the fact that she's smart."  
"Debatable." shrugged James. "You've got to be pretty stupid to not love me."  
"Yeah, she definitely got the first reason why she hates you right." commented Remus, an amused smile on his lips.  
"Shut up!" hissed a fourth year next to The Marauders, her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "The first years are coming in!"  
"Oh, who even cares about the first years?" asked James, rolling his eyes.  
"Not me." remarked Sirius, rolling his eyes as the hall fell silent, the first years being led in by Professor McGonagall. "I'd rather be eating right now."  
"So would I." agreed Peter.  
"You do nothing but eat." remarked Fabian Prewett from a few seats up, his eyes twinkling with amusement as the Sorting Hat began to sing its song. "The lot of you."  
"We kick your asses at pranks everyday too." retorted Sirius, smirking at Fabian and his twin Gideon. The Marauders had a well known rivalry with The Prewett Twins, who were in their last year at Hogwarts. All six boys were prankers, and The Marauders had been dubbed the better ones several years ago. They'd taken part in many prank wars with Fabian and Gideon since then, often engaging in friendly banter, but they could at least get along well when they had to.  
"It's so cute that you think that." said James mockingly, placing his hand over his chest.  
"It's so cute that you think anything different." mocked Gideon, a smile on his face. "Then again, you four aren't the cutest of guys to look at."  
"I'll have you know that I'm very cute actually, Prewett." commented James.  
"Who told you that, your mother?" asked Fabian, causing several people to start sniggering.  
"No, yours." replied James simply, winking at a fifth year girl who giggled at his response.  
"Smooth, Potter." nodded Fabian and Gideon together, smirking.  
"As ever." stated James. "Good to see you two haven't lost your sense of humour since becoming seventh years."  
"Nice to see that Quidditch Captain badge isn't making you any more serious like it did to the Prefects with their badges." said Gideon, glancing down at the badge on James' chest as the rest of the school began to clap, the Sorting Hat finishing its song.  
"Yeah, Moony's been a right downer ever since he got his." remarked Sirius with a smirk, lightly hitting Remus' arm as he scowled.  
"Ha ha, Pads, very funny." said Remus, rolling his eyes. "At least I'm sensible enough to get out of some detentions."  
"Shut up!" hissed the same fourth year girl as before, her eyes narrowed at The Marauders and The Prewett Twins.  
"Oh, piss off." scowled Peter.  
"What's happening?" Sirius asked, looking up at the small stage where the hat was placed on a young boy's head, calling out almost immediately 'Slytherin!'.  
"Well, there's the first Death Eater To Be of the firsties." remarked James, his voice carrying only up the Gryffindor Table seeing as the Slytherins were too busy cheering to hear his remark.  
"Potter!" scowled Darcy from up the table, her eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I thought I made it very clear to you last summer what I thought of you being prejudiced against all Slytherins."  
"You did." agreed James. "I just don't care."  
"You're so infuriating, Potter!" said Darcy as the second first year moved to sit on the three-legged stool at the front of the stool.  
"What, because I don't like Slytherins?" asked James, smirking in amusement.  
"Yes, as a matter of fact!" replied Darcy. "Do you know what? That's the second thing I hate about you - your judgmental ways! Try getting to know someone before accusing them of wanting to join a terrorist group!"  
"Whatever, May." said James, rolling his eyes on Darcy as she huffed in annoyance, turning her back on him. At least he'd learnt today, if nothing else, just what about him made Darcy really angry - and he'd have fun using it against her.

"I'm so thankful that tomorrow's a Sunday." sighed Darcy happily, flopping down onto a sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room.  
"Need a day to prepare yourself to deal with everyone in lessons again?" Alice Fortescue mused, a light smile on her lips.  
"Yes." nodded Darcy, laughing as Marlene pushed her legs off of the sofa and sat down next to her. "I especially need to prepare for Binns and Slughorn again. Merlin have I enjoyed spending time away from them."  
"Slughorn's not that bad." said Lily fairly.  
"You only say that because he actually likes you." pointed out Marlene. "You're his favourite student - oh, and Snape, of course."  
"He'd like you more if you paid attention in his class." Lily said.  
"I'd like him more if he didn't drone on for hours about the history of each ingredient used in the potions." stated Darcy, rolling her eyes.  
"Are we talking about Slughorn?" asked Sirius, approaching the five girls.  
"None of your business, Black." replied Marlene simply.  
"That wasn't very nice." said Sirius.  
"I don't think it was supposed to be." pointed out Darcy.  
"Well noticed, May, perhaps you'd like a reward for saying something intelligent for once?" mused James, sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Darcy. "May I suggest something to keep your mouth shut more often?"  
"Was that a pun?" asked Remus, rolling his eyes.  
"That's brilliant." sniggered Sirius.  
"It's really not." groaned Lily lightly.  
"May I suggest you leaving me alone for once?" replied Darcy causally, an annoyed look growing on her face. "You lot are always everywhere we are."  
"Well, we do go to the same school, and we are in the same year, and we are in the same house." said James. "So we can't help being near you so much. Trust me, it's not fun for me either."  
"I hate that." said Darcy, shaking her head as she stood up. "There's your third reason - I hate the fact that you're always around. I'm going to our dorm in the hopes that I'll actually get some peace and quiet away from you there."  
"Three reasons in a day." said Peter, appearing to be relatively impressed. "Maybe she'll actually come up with a hundred reasons why she hates you."  
"Nah," said James, shaking his head as he watched Darcy's form retreat up the stairs to the dormitory. "she's just been lucky today. Come tomorrow, she won't be able to find anything she hates about me."  
"I wouldn't be so sure of that." stated Marlene as she too stood up. "There is a lot to hate about you."  
"Whatever." said James, rolling his eyes. No matter what anyone said, he was confident that Darcy wouldn't come up with a hundred things she hated about him - and he'd stand by that for as long as he lived.


	3. Things 4 & 5

**Thing Four: Your Hair  
&amp; Thing Five: Your Smirk**

The first few days of term passed without an incident. Though everyone in the castle seemed to know of James and Darcy's near bet, nobody had said anything much about it; in fact, nobody had said much about anything. To say that a whole summer had passed in order to get gossip for the new year at Hogwarts, nobody seemed to have a lot to say. It was tragically boring.  
Lessons were the same old thing, though instead of being lectured about their O. like they had been last year, they were now being lectured about their N.E. , regardless of the fact that they weren't taking those exams for another two years. It was driving Darcy insane - and it wasn't the only thing doing so.  
It was sticking out in every direction. It was a constant mess, as though someone had run their hands through it on purpose and ruffled it to give him the appearance of someone who'd slept for a thousand years. And every time that thought passed through her head, he would do it again. He would run his hand through his hair and mess it up further. Yes, James was driving Darcy insane with his hair.  
"Can you please stop that?!" demanded Darcy in the study hall on the first Friday of term, looking up the table at James, who was running his fingers through his messy dark locks again.  
"Stop what, May?" asked James, raising an eyebrow.  
"Breathing?" suggested Marlene dryly.  
"Nice." nodded James sarcastically, his eyes narrowing at Marlene. "You're lovely to have around too, McKinnon."  
"Adorable." drawled Marlene, scowling at him.  
"Seriously, stop doing what, May?" James asked Darcy, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "I'm not even doing anything to annoy you right now."  
"That's debatable." replied Darcy, her eyes narrowing at the top of his head.  
Remus, seated across from James, laughed as he realised what Darcy meant. His light green eyes twinkled as he told James, "She;s pissed off about your hair."  
"It's nice to see that someone around here has two brain cells to rub together." commented Darcy.  
"Seriously, May?" asked James, raising his eyebrows now. "You're annoyed about my hair?"  
"Yes." answered Darcy, a serious look set on her face.  
James laughed, "Why?"  
"Because it's everywhere!" Darcy exclaimed, standing up from her seat and walking towards James. He ran his hand through his hair as she approached him, causing several more strands to stick up in odd directions, which only made Darcy appear to be annoyed further.  
"She looks happy." mused Sirius as Darcy stood above James.  
"What is your problem with running your hands through your hair?" huffed Darcy, moving her hands in an attempt to flatten James' wild locks.  
"It's sexy, May. Attracts real girls." James replied coolly, winking at her.  
"Well I didn't know that I'd suddenly grown a dick, Potter, because I'm not interested in you - no matter how many times you run your hands through your bloody hair." stated Marlene from down the table.  
"And I'm the same." agreed Darcy, her eyes narrowing as she struggled to make James' hair lay flat on his head.  
"It does attract you, May, don't lie to yourself. And McKinnon - well, she's too busy with Pads to be bothered about how attractive I am." stated James.  
"Or how attractive you're not." offered Darcy.  
"You love me really, May." stated James confidently, a smirk on his face.  
"I thought that we'd established that I most certainly do not love you, Potter." scowled Darcy, letting out another frustrated huff as she removed her hands from James' hair, which was somehow even messier than before. "Seriously, what is wrong with your hair?"  
"Potter genes." shrugged James simply. "Don't you just love it?"  
"No, I don't. That's my fourth thing, actually - I bloody hate your hair." replied Darcy, causing several people nearby to glance up with interested looks on their faces.  
"Resorting to saying you hate me because of my hair?" asked James, raising his eyebrows. "You're running out of reasons already, aren't you?"  
"On the contrary, Potter, I gain new reasons every minute of the day." replied Darcy simply, scowling at him. "Now go and sort out your bloody hair."  
"Whatever." grinned James as she walked away.

"Hey May, thought of any new reasons yet?" James would call to Darcy throughout the day with a smirk on his lips.  
"Hey May, want to say that you hate my face for the next reason?" James mused with a smirk as he passed her in Herbology.  
"May, have you decided on your next pathetic reason next?" James hissed to her in Transfiguartions, smirking.  
"Ran out of reasons already?" he smirked at her in the Common Room as she dropped her bag off in her dorm to leave for dinner that night.  
"Need to stop the list already? Looks like I'm too lovable after all." he smirked.  
"Don't you just love me, May?" smirk.  
"Sad that you weren't smart enough to finish the list, May?" smirk.  
"It's okay to be a failure, you know. I just love the look on your face when you realise that I really am better than you."_smirk_.  
Smirk after smirk after bloody smirk. That was the only thing Darcy ever saw playing on James' lips, and it was driving her even more insane than his hair was. He wouldn't smile properly often - not when he was looking at her, anyway. All he'd do was smirk, and it was getting on her nerves.  
"How are you today, May?" James asked as he sat down next to Darcy in Potions the next day.  
Darcy didn't dare to look up at him as she asked, "Why are you sitting next to me?"  
"Because I want to know if you've thought of anymore reasons yet." replied James.  
Darcy could hear it in his voice, but she didn't look up as she replied, "I have several."  
"I'd love to hear you name them." replied James coolly. "You know, if you could."  
She could practically envision the smirk on his face. She could feel it, see it taunting her inside of her head. And yet she still - just barely - resisted the urge to look up.  
"I have plenty of reasons, Potter, I just don't think now's the right time to say them." replied Darcy coolly.  
"Try me." replied James.  
The overwhelming temptation to look up became too much for Darcy and so she gave into herself, her eyes landing on James' attractive face. His hazel eyes were glinting beneath his glasses, his features handsome in the almost dark light in the room - but the one thing which really drew her attention about his appearance was the smirk playing on her lips.  
"Fine." replied Darcy, her voice raising slightly. "The fifth thing I hate about you is your smirk. All you do is smirk and it's infuriating. Smile, laugh, frown, I don't care, just stop bloody smirking!"  
"May, I don't care how much you hate Potter's smirk, now is not the time nor place to be discussing it. Both of you have detention with me at six o'clock." stated Horace from the front of the classroom, an annoyed look on her face.  
And it was no surprise after that that Darcy could already think of the sixth thing she hated so much about the messy-haired, smirking boy next to her.


End file.
